The mask we wear

  • Isn’t it amazing how we try to cover up and hide our flaws, especially with Anxiety and OCD.
  • Never letting our true self shine.
  • Hiding behind that mask of fear.
  • It can at times be exhausting.
  • Love has a powerful way of removing that mask.
  • Isn’t it about time you learnt to love yourself?

My morning on the radio

I was recently invited to talk about hypnotherapy and it’s benefits on the radio with PBA FM 89.7 with the lovely Zofia Dendunnen on her Manic Monday programme.

Listen to audio of the interview.

It was a wonderful experience and great fun, i loved it every minute of it…  Thank you Zofia for having me. 

Just remember, you don’t have to be stuck in your problem…  There’s always someone like me ready to listen and help! 

Here is a recording and you can click here to listen.

Habits

Habits can be a funny thing at times and we can all do some strange things.  Now , let me tell you about me and my weird habit .

Ever since i was a kid, maybe from about the age of around 7 I’ve chewed the inside of my mouth.  Now this wasn’t just the odd chew i would literally rip  and tear the inside of my mouth apart.

This would happen when i wasn’t even aware . I would really go for it at times… Especially when i was watching the TV… Driving and if i was reading a juicy bit in a book id really go to town…  I never stopped!

I would use my thumb to push my mouth against my teeth to get a really good bite then rip strips of flesh across the inside of my mouth.  This would bleed of course as it would leave an open wound…  The inside of my mouth was in constant tatters, as it healed i would get raised softer bits of skin so i’d promptly chew that too…   I’d create ulcers…   They also didn’t stand a chance and it would cause me a fair amount of pain at times, especially with certain foods… Salt and vinegar chips could be a challenge at times.   

I know this sounds really dreadful and believe me i’m not proud of myself either…  I know it’s a form of self mutilation…  I actually found a warped sense of comfort in doing this…  My mouth never had a chance to heal…  It was my little secret…   Nobody could see the inside of my mouth…  Only me!

I can remember as a kid i’d be at home watching the TV, leaning on the arm of the chair, having a good chew and my Dad would often knock my elbow away to try to stop me…  He’d go mad saying it could get infected…  It never stopped me though.

I even bought a fidget spinner, (that the kids have) to busy my hands…  It helped but not for long.

The thing that really bought everything to my attention is the fact that my son now does it too.  I’m not proud of that fact and actually find it quite upsetting to watch.

The trouble with us all is that we tend to mimic each other subconsciously. That’s why problems follow families…  We don’t even realise we do it either.

Even though i’m a hypnotherapist, I’ve analysed my habit, even though i can do self hypnosis i can only take myself so far…  I ended up seeking the help of a fellow hypnotherapist.  Together we managed to get to the root of the problem, when it all began.

I’m now good to finally say i’m over my chewing… I haven’t mutilated my mouth for a few weeks now…  I did it for nearly 50 years!

It actually feels strange as the skin now feels so smooth, (normal to you guys i suppose).  I’ve actually no want or desire to do it either…  I really am over the moon to be honest…  I now have to work on my son, (he has to come to the party too though for this to work).

Habits can be a strange thing to others.  People don’t  understand why we do what we do.  When these things develop they feel quite normal to the sufferer…  I’d just accepted that it was a part of who i am.

I actually have a friend that used to twist and pull her eyelashes out… (You guys thought i was weird)!

The thing is, it takes around 90 seconds for these things to grab our unconscious minds attention…  After 90 seconds it’s all down to us i’m afraid to keep these things going…  We do it to ourselves…  We create a loop that just keeps going round and round.  Consciously its difficult to break that loop, Unconsciously we as hypnotherapist can break that loop creating a new direction and change. 

Our minds are truly amazing…  We really are fascinating creatures!

My Psoriasis

There’s a huge amount of illnesses nowadays that are classed as an autoimmune disease.  An autoimmune is an illness that occurs when the body’s tissues are attacked by its own immune system…  (The body goes haywire).

There are over 80 autoimmune diseases…  Psoriasis is just one of these…  It’s not contagious but can be very uncomfortable, itchy and very unsightly for the sufferer… It doesn’t just affect a person outwardly…  The scars go so much deeper.

I too am a psoriasis sufferer.  I remember feeling embarrassed…  Ashamed and any confidence i had seemed to evaporate overnight… I felt like everyone was better than me, regardless of their looks or size… To me they had lovely clear skin…  That’s all that mattered.

I felt unlovable… Ugly and flawed because it looked so unsightly

Well, when i was around  14  i had my very first flare up of psoriasis.  My parents divorced…  Even though outwardly i seemed fine…  My skin was telling me a whole different story.  It wasn’t a gradual thing either…  Bang…  There it was… Almost overnight in fact.  The constant itching would drive me nuts… The terribly dry flaky skin would form thick crusts and once you scratched…  Would bleed…  Crack and become really sore and uncomfortable…  My life became a nightmare.

Being a teenager  was really tough…  I hated the flakes,  i felt very self conscious and couldn’t wear dark clothes as i would flake and shed everywhere…  I looked like i had really bad dandruff…  It was even in my hair…  I felt like a leper as people would look and stare…    I hated it!

I’d really hit rock bottom with my confidence… As for my self esteem…  That was non existent. 

I have one very dear friend that would often ask me what it was that was worrying me to make my skin react like it did…  Well that really was the 64 million dollar question…  If i’d known i would have switched the damn thing off!

The doctor gave me this really smelly coal tar cream to apply at night. It would stain all of my nightclothes & bedding…  I even had to wear socks to bed.  I had another cream to apply for the day and an oil for the bath which would leave a thick ring of grease on the inside of the bath which i had to scrub off every time.  It was a pain… I felt greasy.  The only thing that happened was the psoriasis would go bright red after any application…  I looked like id been burnt…  God forbid,  someone might see or notice it!

I was literally covered so this routine would take me ages… Every day and night…  I tried loads of different creams…  One was a roll on that i applied…  It was so strong it burnt my skin which left me with bright red tram lines up and down my body…  This went on for around 10-15 years .

I’d have my good days and bad .

Being a teenager of around 18 i went to the local pubs and clubs.  All the girls would have their legs and arms showing…  Especially in the summer… With their lovely dresses but hey,  not me…  I’d be covered from head to foot… I’d be wearing long sleeves with thick woolly tights or trousers… Always & all year round…  I just wanted to be like everyone else… To fit in… I’m talking about the 1980’s…  We had no internet… No google so i really had no idea on what i was dealing with .

There were no support networks or information like we have today.  The doctors weren’t very helpful,  they’d just send me on my way with yet another prescription. I’d never heard of it let alone be able to spell it!…  All i knew was that it wasn’t contagious.  I didn’t know anyone with this awful skin complaint either so it really was trial and error.  To be honest i always felt like a bit of a leper,  people would stare and ask if they could catch it…  I was heartbroken!

I’m in my 50’s now with a family of my own.  I’ve managed to turn my life around, i changed my diet, lifestyle and  calm down. I’ve actually had one huge flare up in about 25 years…  I used the wrong fabric softener…  I was covered within 3 days.

I hadn’t been living in Australia long & thinking back the move probably didn’t help either.  We’d recently moved over from the UK so i didn’t know the products as it’s totally different brands here.  My husband didn’t know what to do with me as he’d never seen me like it.  I just freaked and didn’t know what i’d done to trigger the flare up either…  It was full on too…  within 3 days i was covered .

In an instant my nightmare had returned… That monster in me had risen its ugly head again…  Rather spectacularly too i might add.  Overnight i turned into that insecure 14 year old teenager again…  I couldn’t stop crying…  I suddenly became that confused, teary young girl…  Every time i looked in the mirror…  There it was… My stress levels went through the roof!

Its funny…  For all the bravado we show to the world… Underneath our true character still lingers…  Those demons still lie dormant…  It took me a good 9 months to get everything under control again.

I went to see 3 different doctors  as they kept telling me it was a virus… (I knew different of course).  I was given Dovonex cream as that’s what helped me years ago…  Along with the sun of course…  That vitamin D does the trick every time.

I know Psoriasis is an autoimmune disease and one of the triggers is stress. The thing i had to learn to do was to accept that it was a part of me .

I remember years ago i went to the local swimming pool with a friend,  she told me to just ignore everyone and to relax…  I knew people were staring  at me but i remember thinking… ‘Stuff them”…  It took a lot of courage on my part but i remember it so well.  My friend could be quite outspoken at times so i knew she had my back if anyone said anything…  I suppose i felt safe with her?

Once i started to relax and accept things as they were the psoriasis started to clear…  I was amazed & over the moon of course.  That’s when things really started to turn for me.  It’s not an easy thing to do but our minds are so powerful… It’s the control tower of everything that goes on in our bodies…  The brain is the hub of everything really.

I’m a hypnotherapist… Hypnotherapy is a fabulous tool for stress and anxiety… I know… It’s helped me…  That and diet… Control your mind…  Flick back that switch and you get to choose how you live your life .

Acceptance really is the first step… I know first hand… I’ve been there, believe me…  I never want to go there again.

I’ve since learned that any  sufferer with psoriasis believes that they will never get rid of it. It’s  these feelings and beliefs that maintain and hamper any recovery…   Removal of these beliefs is paramount to achieving a successful outcome.

Psoriasis and other autoimmune diseases can be triggered by trauma and stress,  by using hypnotherapy we can create a change in their beliefs and feelings from a subconscious level .

An example would be if you were to become embarrassed the skin on your face would go red with the increased blood flow which is created from the subconscious mind…  If i asked you to do this with your conscious mind you couldn’t do it.

Our minds are a bit like an iceberg…  We are only aware of the part that’s above the water, the (conscious mind)…  The visual part… This really is just a small percentage of what’s really lingering underneath which is our (subconscious mind) .

If reading this gives one person any comfort and hope then i’m happy…  Don’t ever feel like your alone…  There’s always someone like me out there ready to listen and help… You can create your new future…  Just don’t give up and believe that you are worth it .

Photo by Dua Chuot on Pexels.com

Hypnotherapy and the Weather

Hypnotherapy can often be like the weather.

you know when  there’s a storm  brewing…  It can feel hot, humid and often uncomfortable.

The skin feels sticky  and clammy,  it feel’s like it’s far too hot and you just can’t take it anymore…  Your preying for that break.

You feel like you’ve really had enough but can’t seem to cool down or find relief…  Those clouds gather as you feel the pressure building up.

Everything goes quiet…  Even the birds .

The breeze starts up .

That breeze can feels like a blessing as it touches your skin.

After a while the first few drops of rain begin to fall, you can smell it…  That strong rich earthy smell as the ground soaks up that much needed moisture…  Settling all the dust and dirt

It’s the change you’ve been waiting and hoping for

In such a short time those first few drops can turn into a torrential downpour…  Within minutes that refreshing cool change comes in and it feels so good… Like a blessing.

Once the storm clouds pass and the rain stops, everything feels so fresh, new and alive again. 

It’s a new beginning .

Holidays

People can often look and dream of holidays they’d love to take but fear can often hold them back.

How wonderful to be able to take that trip you’ve so longed for without having the stress and anxiety beforehand…  Stressing of what if this or that  should happen,  ( especially with the way the world is nowadays ) or you may hear… Oh it’s alright for you etc …..

Well, It can be alright for you too but only if you can manage to take that first step .

Don’t let fear hold you back…  No more of  ‘I can’t do it because’…

We only get one crack at this life… Why not make it make a good one!

Take back control and live that life that you’ve been dreaming of…  It’s your’s for the asking… You really owe it to yourself ..

You wouldn’t dream of not taking out travel insurance so why not insure yourself for that peace of mind . 

Here at Relax hypnotherapy Adelaide I can help you make that journey a lot more enjoyable by taking away the stress and anxiety.

How can hypnotherapy help with Anxiety?

A hypnotherapist uses hypnosis to help you relax your body & conscious mind so that your subconscious can come forward easily . Your therapist can talk to it in order to bring about change .

Your therapist ma

Introduce beneficial suggestions to the subconscious. which will help you manage the changes and confusion you are experiencing.

Ask your subconscious questions to find out why you have a particular problem such as anxiety.  Often these issues may have been there all along, hidden deep in the subconscious.  Hypnotherapy can help you get to the root of it & fix it.

Hypnotherapy is very relaxing . It is very safe & you cannot be made to do anything you don’t want to do .

For more information check out Relaxhypnotherapyadelaide.com.au

5 Steps towards a positive approach

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.” ~Winston Churchill

Step One: Believe a Positive Attitude is a choice

My life—and all of our lives—is often filled with challenges that make it very difficult to be positive at times.

However, I know that choosing to be positive has helped me the most in terms of becoming the person I want to be. Even when things are difficult, I know that being positive—and striving to make the best of whatever situation I’m in—really does make even the most challenging situations easier to bear.

Teaching myself that being positive is a choice has been one of the greatest things I’ve ever done for myself.

Now when I find myself in a bad situation, I know that it’s up to me to find the good, to be positive regardless of what’s happening around me. I no longer point fingers and place blame. I realise that everything happens how it happens, and it’s up to me to choose how I want to feel about it. I am in control of my attitude, and no one can take that away from me.

Step Two: Rid Your Life of Negativity

If you want to live a positive, joyful life, you cannot be surrounded by negative people who don’t encourage your happiness.

This, as you can imagine, isn’t easy.  It can hurt to distance yourself from people—even when you know they aren’t good for you or your current lifestyle.

In addition to removing negative influences from me  I also had to get rid of some of my own negative thoughts and behaviours.

I learned to focus on the positive things I was doing—This process was not easy and, to be honest, is still ongoing, but I know this: It’s hard to live a positive life when negative people and behaviours continually pull you down.

Step Three: Look For the Positive in Life

In every person, in every situation, there is something good. Most of the time it’s not obvious. We have to look. And sometimes we have to look hard.

Now, when I’m faced with a difficult or challenging situation, I think to myself, “What is good about this?” No matter how terrible the situation might seem, I can always find something good if I take the time to think about it.

Everything—good and bad—is a learning experience so, at the very least, you can learn from bad experiences. However, there’s usually even more to it than that. If you really take the time to look, you will usually find something good, something genuinely positive, about every person or situation

Step Four: Reinforce Positivity in Yourself

Once you start thinking more positive,  as with any sort of training, the more you practice, the better you get—and, yes, you can practice being positive.

The best and easiest way to do this is to be positive when it comes to who you are.  Tell yourself you’re awesome.  Tell yourself you look good.  Tell yourself you did a great job at work or raising your kids or whatever it is you do.

Be honest with yourself, but do your best to look for the good. And, whatever you do, don’t focus on the negative.

Step Five: Share Positivity with others

Not only do you need to be positive with yourself for this training to really take effect, but you need to be positive with others. You have to share your wealth of Positivity with the world.

Tell your parents or children (or both!) how much you love them and how great they are. When someone is feeling down, do what you can to cheer them up. Send flowers. Write notes. Don’t gossip. Be kind.

I try not only to treat others as I would like to be treated, but I also try to consider how they would like to be treated. People appreciate Positivity, and the more you share it with others, the more you are practising it in your own life.

When you start feeling like the idea of being a positive person is daunting, remind yourself that all it takes is one small step in the right direction to move yourself toward a more positive attitude.

Believe in yourself and remember the most important lesson of all: A positive outlook is a choice that you can always make.

What is Anxiety?

I’m often asked as a hypnotherapist what is anxiety, well it’s a normal reaction to stress.  Ongoing though, can lead to a disorder creating symptoms of panic attacks and so on.

Excessive worriers can react quickly and intensely to any stressful situation. Things can blow things up out of proportion.   It can often seem irrational as they can’t think clearly . People with high anxiety have difficulty shaking their worries… Life for them can become a nightmare. When this happens this can also trigger actual physical symptoms.

Chronic worry and stress can trigger a host of health problems, the problem occurs when the fight or flight response causes the nervous system to release stress hormones.

In today’s world we can all lead stressful lives, you only have to turn on the TV nowadays to be sent running around the room like a complete lunatic…  Often imagining the worst .

It’s how we deal with these triggers that can make all the difference.

Sometimes in life you have to take a  step back to be able to  move forward…  If these issues aren’t dealt with we tend to  carry them around with us for years…  Often getting heavier and heavier along the way, making life a struggle .

A perfect example of this has actually been written on here on one of my blogs titled…  ‘The lady who changed my life’…  It’s certainly worth a read!

Where do I start?

Firstly, I’m a professional hypnotherapist, I have a real passion for it…  It seems that in the world we live in today there’s a real call for it… Women especially are under a huge amount of pressure to conform with society or this illusion we seem to be fed by the media etc on how we should act…  Look and feel to be the perfect woman.

It seems regardless of age the pressure is endless…  Am I too fat…  Too thin… Why don’t I look like the girl in the magazines?  It’s really sad and it’s hardly surprising that we’re confused and feeling so screwed up .

My vision for the future is to help people…  Empower people to be able to step off that roller coaster of emotions for a while and take time out for themselves… To learn and gain knowledge to be able to go forward with confidence to achieve their dreams.